Maybe Baby!!!

January 26, 2012

I'm praying that if and when I publish this post that it has a happy ending . . .

Matt & I decided to leave Nashville, TN for a few reasons but mostly because I wanted to be closer to family when we were ready to start a family. Now we're coming up on 5 years without much success and getting ready (emotionally, physically & financially) to start our first, and hopefully only, IVF cycle.

After the occasional unsuccessful round of clomid over a couple of years, we were referred to a reproductive endocrinologist, Dr. F, in March 2011. After discussing our history, the blood tests confirmed her diagnosis . . . polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) and sub-clinical hypothyroidism. I also had a blocked tube and large fibroid the size of a softball but fortunately I didn't have any complications from the fibroid. This was a lot to take in but she had a plan and truly believed that I shouldn't have any problems getting pregnant. First up, was to start taking synthroid for my thyroid and metformin to help with the PCOS. Thankfully, I did well with the metformin because I've heard it makes some women sick and after several months my TSH level was finally in the normal range. Dr. F wanted it to be around 2.5 and I think by December it was 1.62.

So in June 2011, I had laparoscopic surgery to remove the fibroid, remove the tube and do a little ovarian drilling. This was probably the most painful few days of my life but I survived and Dr. F told us that everything went perfect. We shouldn't have any trouble getting pregnant.

We had always said we wouldn't go the IVF route if it came to that. At the time I couldn't imagine spending thousands of dollars to get pregnant and honestly didn't think we'd have to explore that option. After a few more well monitored, but unsuccessful rounds of clomid, I started considering doing IVF if this didn't work . . . and Matt was immediately on board which was a huge relief. I did 6 rounds of clomid (50mg, 100mg twice, 150mg twice & finally 250mg) and only responded to three that were followed with the hCG trigger shot . . . but I never even got to the end of the dreaded 2WW (two week wait) to take a pregnancy test. Again, initially I just figured if it happened, it happened and if it didn't, that would be okay too. But then you start to get excited and hopeful which was soon followed by disappointment. Each time we'd see Dr. F she would be excited at the appointments where I was progressing as I should be and genuinely disappointed when I wasn't.

While I was in the early stages of the 250mg clomid cycle, we had a consult with Dr. F and she told us our options if this round didn't work . . . injectibles/IUI or IVF.

With injectibles/IUI, there is a 25% chance of pregnancy but also the increased risk of high-order multiples (triplets or more, 20%). With IVF, the chance of getting pregnant is 50-60% and while the chance of having twins is a little high (30-40%), the risk of having triplets or more was about 1.5%.

While the injectible/IUI route was obviously the less expensive option, the much lower chance of getting pregnant and the risk of multiples was a little scary. We quickly made the decision to "save" our money and go straight for the IVF.

So here we are . . . in about 2 weeks we'll start the IVF cycle. At this point, we haven't even told our parents yet but I know they'll be 100% supportive of having another grandbaby. We just needed to have all the details before we shared our news.

Ready or not, here we go . . .

January 28, 2012

I started my 2 weeks of birth control on Wednesday and while this sounds counter-productive, it's normal procedure to suppress the ovaries and get everything in check before the baseline ultrasound.

I got a call from my nurse yesterday and we quickly went through the timeline and a few other details. These next 3 weeks are going to be crazy.

I'm going in Thursday for the injection teaching class . . . I hate needles! Matt actually gave me my hCG injections while on Clomid and the back of my arm would be bruised for days. Most of the injections are subcutaneous (SQ) but the progesterone oil is intramuscular (IM). What I hear when I hear IM is longer needle!

Then Friday I'll go back in for the SIS (Saline Infusion Sonogram) to make sure there aren't any polyps, fibroids or scar tissue in the uterine cavity. They'll also do the trial transfer at this time.

My baseline u/s will be February 13th which starts the process and if all goes as planned, we'll know something by mid-March. That would be the best birthday present ever!!! :)

The plan:
2/03/12 - Lupron
2/13/12 - Baseline U/S; Lupron, Bravelle & Menopur
2/18/12 & 2/20/12 - Monitoring Appts (U/S & blood work)
2/24-2/26 - Possible Egg Retrieval
2/27-3/02 - Possible Egg Transfer
3/11-3/16 - Pregnancy Test

I'm terribly excited and nervous but trying to stay relaxed and optimistic!

February 16, 2012

The sonogram two weeks ago was normal so we got the go ahead to start the Lupron injections (little insulin needle in the stomach, not too bad). I had some cramping during the sonogram and the trial transfer, nothing too bad, but afterwards while we were waiting on the nurse to go over the injections, the cramping set in and I was very uncomfortable. I feel like such a wuss but luckily I don't deal with that every month. I think my blood sugar must have dropped too so when the nurse started going over the injection meds & needles I felt a little woozy. I thought I might pass out so I sent Matt to pick up the Lupron at the pharmacy and I headed home. After a little rest and something to eat, I was feeling much better.

Everything was as it should be at my baseline ultrasound so I started the other injections (Bravelle & Menopur) as scheduled on Monday . . . OUCH! Matt was injecting them in the back of my arm but the liquid was so thick he had to force it out of the needle which is awfully painful. By Wednesday I decided to try to inject myself in the stomach and this was much less painful. Four days down, and 6 or so to go. I have a monitoring appointment tomorrow and hopefully I'm progressing as I should be.

So while the last couple of weeks went by kind of slow, these next couple of weeks should go by pretty quickly with the monitoring appointments, possible egg retrieval next weekend and egg transfer the following week.

February 28, 2012

We're moving right along with this cycle. After 10 days of Bravelle & Menopur injections, including an increase in the Bravelle dosage around DOS (day of stim) 5, the MANY follicles were doing great and my estrogen was gradually increasing as it should be so my egg retrieval was scheduled for Saturday, 2/25! I did the trigger shot (hCG) on Thursday, still have a bruise, and went in Friday for the pre-op. The egg retrieval is done under conscious sedation where IVs put me to sleep and the procedure lasts less than 30 minutes. Dr. F was working this weekend and was able to do the retrieval which was a huge relief. I've seen several of the doctors at ACRM and they have all been great but I still feel more comfortable with Dr. F since she's been there from the beginning and knows our history.

I remember laying on the OR table at the clinic and the anesthesiologist putting oxygen tubes in my nose, telling me to take deep breaths . . . and that's all I remember until they were waking me up in the recovery area. I had some juice and we waited for Dr. F to hear how many eggs she retrieved.

36 eggs!!!

I wasn't really surprised by this b/c I'm sure I had 40-50 follicles at my last monitoring appointment which is consistent with a PCOS diagnosis (polycystic means lots of follicles). We were sent home shortly after and I spent the rest of the day relaxing on the couch! I didn't have any pain or cramping after the retrieval which was a relief . . . maybe I have a pretty good pain tolerance. :)

Around noon on Sunday, we got a call from ACRM and 21 of the eggs had fertilized . . . YAY!!!

Now we wait . . . again. The transfer was scheduled for today (3-day, 6 to 8 cell embryo, transfer) with a chance that it would be moved to Thursday (5-day blastocyst transfer). I did some reading and it sounds like the embryologist can better pick the best embryos for transfer with the 5-day embryos. We left the house this morning and about 5 minutes later we got the call that we were going to do a 5-day transfer on Thursday.

Sunday started the dreaded progesterone in oil (PIO) injections . . . intramuscular, longer needle, thicker liquid . . . good news though, as of day 3, it hasn't been too bad. Matt's out of town for 2 days next week and I'm very nervous about having to inject myself those 2 days.

I'm excited about Thursday . . . then we have to wait until Sunday, March 11th, for the blood pregnancy test. They say not to do a home pregnancy test b/c the stims/trigger can give you a false negative, and I guess a false positive too. Hopefully I can resist that temptation.

Stay tuned . . .

March 2, 2012

We went in yesterday for the 5-day blastocyst transfer and now there is nothing left to do except wait and pray that we get pregnant. I have to continue with the PIO injections but other than that, we go in Sunday morning for the blood pregnancy test.

The transfer was kind of interesting. Matt was able to scrub in and watch the process and I was awake for the procedure that took less than 15 minutes. We met with the doctor that would be performing the transfer and the embryologist to discuss how the embryos were doing. Of the 21 that fertilized, 8 had arrested so we were currently left with 13. Of the 13, they brought us a picture of the 2 best blastocyst, day-5 embryos that they would transfer directly into my uterus through a small, flexible catheter and we got to watch on the sonogram machine.

Two beautiful embryos that will hopefully attach, implant and
do whatever else they need to do to become a baby or babies!
(100% Matt & Becky in case you were wondering!)

You can actually see the embryos . . .
the circled white flash (top, middle)

After the transfer, we grabbed some coffee (decaf for me) and a bagel at Einstein Bagels and headed home where I took it easy the rest of the day. I decided to take the day off work Friday to have another easy day but the more I read, the more I realize that this probably wasn't necessary . . . but I'm enjoying a quiet, lazy Friday at home anyway.

I got a call this morning from the embryologist and of the 11 embryos that didn't get picked for transfer, 4 made the grade for freezing!!!

This can be a super stressful time for couples but I think I've done a pretty good job trying not to stress over something that is out of our control. Matt has been super supportive as always and I've cut out wine, coffee, biking & running and have been "taking it easy" for about 2 months now. I put on some weight which is where I direct all my worrying and stress but hopefully the weight will turn into a baby bump soon.  If not, I'll throw all my IVF energy to getting my diet and exercise routines back on track!

I'm already thinking about how early I might be able to pee on a stick! I shouldn't, but I probably will . . . I'm going to try my hardest to at least wait until next Saturday though. It's soooo tempting so we'll see how that goes. :)

March 8, 2012

I knew I had a couple of pregnancy tests under the sink, at least one digital and one First Response 2-liner, so I was already trying to figure out when I was going to use them. Tuesday night, I went to check the inventory and realized I had 5 digitals and one regular . . . uh-oh, testing starts tomorrow b/c I couldn't resist. Wednesday was 6dp5dt (6 days past 5-day transfer) so it was still a little early but I did it anyway. I was prepared not to panic if it came up negative b/c it was early. Thankfully, a very faint second line appeared!!! Again, I'm trying to stay focused b/c anything can happen in the next few days/weeks but I think it's okay to be excited.

Because I'm obsessive and wanted to see the line get darker, I picked up a few more 2-liners and Thursday morning (7dp5dt) the line was a little darker and the "no guessing required" digital confirmed that I'm "Pregnant"!!! I took pictures of the pee sticks and shared them with my parents. Matt thinks that's weird but again, I'm excited so hopefully I didn't offend anyone with the pictures of pee sticks at 7am. I'm posting them here too so be warned. :)

6dp5dt (03/07/12)

7dp5dt (03/08/12)

My blood test isn't until Sunday morning so I'm sure I'll test again Friday and Saturday and pee on one last digital Sunday morning before we head to the clinic . . . once you start, you can't stop!

More pictures of pee sticks are sure to follow!

March 11, 2012

It's official . . . we're pregnant! We got up SUPER early this morning to get down to the Perimeter office for 1 minute of blood work but it was totally worth it. My appointment was at 8 but since Daylight Savings began at 2am, it felt like 7am but we hit Einstein Bros Bagels again for a yummy breakfast sandwich and another cup of coffee, again decaf for me.

I mentioned to Matt yesterday that today was Beta #1, where they check your hcg levels, but that they'll do the 2nd beta two days later to see if it's doubling as it should be every 48-72 hours. I guess I hadn't mentioned this before so it took a minute to sink in that it's official but the 2nd beta will make it official-official! I also failed to mention that it won't be officially-official-official until the u/s where we can hear the heartbeat. We actually knew on Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday from all the hpts but just wanted to hear it from the doctor!

Levels of hcg vary greatly from woman to woman and vary depending on how many babies you are carrying so it's hard to pin down a "good" number on the internet. I came to the conclusion that anything over 50 was good for 10dp5dt, some even said doctors like to see 100 so I was really hoping for more than 100.

Dr. D called shortly after Matt left for his 12-mile training run and we have confirmation that I'm 4 weeks pregnant and my beta #1 was 251. We're looking for it to at least double by Tuesday morning for beta #2. I'm not sure if they'll want to do a 3rd beta but I think our first u/s will be sometime around 3/24 . . . yay, two more weeks of waiting . . . and I think my due date is 11/17/12 (subject to change).

I'm soooooo excited . . . cautiously excited, but excited nonetheless!!!

March 13, 2012

I went in for Beta #2 today at 8:30am and then they make you wait all day before calling with results . . . booooo!

Beta #2, 12dp5dt:
hCG - 570 (doubling rate of about 41 hours, YAY!!!)
Estradiol - 4588
Progesterone - >45

Anyway, great results today and Beta # 3 scheduled for 3/19/12. Continuing the theme of excitement from great results followed by wait and be anxious for 6 more days! I wonder if the anxiety will ever go away.

March 19, 2012

We've told a few people that we're pregnant. It's not a secret but it's not something we're ready to broadcast either, it's just too early. One thing that always catches me off guard is when someone says "you're going to be a great mom". This is something I've worried about. The thought has crossed my mind a few times that maybe I'm just not meant to be a mom. It's very reassuring when I hear this so thank you all for your confidence in our parenting capabilities!

Remember above where I said something to the effect of "these next few weeks are going to fly"? Well, there has been nothing about this process that went by quickly other than the retrieval and transfer.  The good thing about IVF is that you are constantly being monitored so you get to find out fairly early that you are pregnant and it's confirmed by a beta hcg test or three. The time between these betas is awful b/c all I do is worry about the what ifs . . . what if my hcg isn't doubling like it should, what if it drops, what if there's nothing in there. It's been 6 long days since my last beta and once again, I have to wait ALL day to hear back from the nurse about the results. I just want to get to the point where we see the baby and hear the heartbeat. Just breathe . . .

Beta hCG #3, 18dp5dt: 6019 (doubling rate of just over 42 hours)

Results are in and we're still moving right along. The first ultrasound is scheduled for Thursday at 5w5d. It would be amazing if we could see/hear the heartbeat but it may be a little early for that. We should be able to see the yolk sac and the fetal pole (first visible signs of a developing embryo). So very excited!!!

March 22, 2012

TWINS!!!  :)

We have 2 gestational sacs and while it took a second bladder-emptying half way through and a little effort from the u/s wand, we also got a glimpse of 2 yolk sacs. Dr. F also saw a small fetal pole in Baby A (I think) but nothing visible yet in Baby B. She assured us that she didn't have any concerns, we were just a little early on the scans which she said was normal with twins. My chart said I was 5w6d (a day off from what I thought) and the fetal pole measured 6w1d so I'm not really sure how far along I am at this point.

We'll know more next Wednesday where we should see growing babies and hear their hearts beat! Words cannot begin to describe how happy I am and I am praying for a healthy pregnancy whether it's one or two.

Meet Baby A & Baby B or was it Baby B & Baby A?!
(well, their gestational sacs anyway)

And again, we wait! :)

March 28, 2012

6w4d

Today is the best day (so far) . . . we saw the hearts fluttering of our two little babies! I'm still a little shocked that there are two of them but sooooooo happy!

Baby A is measuring right on schedule at 6w4d with a HR of 117bpm while Baby B is measuring a little smaller at 6w1d with a HR of 124.

Dr. F said that Baby A must be a girl b/c she's cooperating while Baby B was harder to see/measure. I was a little nervous at first when we moved over to Baby B but we were quickly reassured when we saw it's little heartbeat flutter on the u/s monitor! She isn't concerned that Baby B is smaller.  It could be the position or could just be a smaller baby.

We go back to see her in two weeks and if everything is going well, I'll graduate to my regular OB.

Baby A . . . the cooperative one!

Baby B . . . trying to hide!

I didn't even ask and Matt gave me the okay to share our amazing news on FB. I've stayed away from FB lately b/c it's just too hard to keep such great news to ourselves! I guess it's up to the couple to decide if/when they want to share their news and I assumed Matt would want to wait until 20 weeks or something. We have so many friends that we may not see very often or even get to talk to much but we also know that we could always use the extra support, thoughts and prayers b/c this is going to be a crazy, scary, exciting, interesting, etc, etc, etc adventure so stay tuned!

I suppose this will be the last entry in the "2 month journey to seeing our babies" post but I'll keep this updated and try not to inundate FB with posts of morning sickness, cravings, etc. No morning sickness yet but I am always super tired and always hungry . . . eating for 3 but 2 are the size of blueberries at the moment so the math just isn't adding up yet (booo)!

Hopefully they'll be as perfect as these two! :)

Mark & me (early 80's)